...Vicevi...
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A$H
- Posts: 19055
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- Location: Clubhouse
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Asfodel
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Metalcamp
- Posts: 530
- Joined: 01 Dec 2009, 08:37
Re: ...Vicevi...
Chuck Norris se ukazao Gospi...
chuck norris je napravio snjegovica od kise...
Jedan mladi Cigo dođe u Zavod za zapošljavanje, priđe šalteru i kaže službenici: "Halo, ne želim više živjeti od pomoći, nego želim ići raditi!"
Službenica ga pogleda i kaže: "Imate nevjerojatnu sreću. Imamo ponudu jednog bogatog gospodina, koji traži šofera i bodyguarda za svoju prelijepu kći nimfomanku. Morate voziti ogroman crni mercedes i dva puta na dan poševiti djevojku. Na raspolaganju su vam odijela, kravate i odjeća za slobodno vrijeme... Kako ćete raditi puno prekovremenih, biti će vam i isplaćeni. Kako mlada dama puno putuje, morati ćete je pratiti na tim putovanjima. Osnovna plaća iznosi 100000 eura godišnje".
Na to će Cigo: "Jel' vi to mene zajebavate!?"
A službenica će: "A tko je prvi počeo?"
Imao čovijek rak na mozgu i dođe on kod doktora
- Ako vam ne napravimo transplantaciju mozga, umrijet ćete za tri tjedna
- Dobro, što mi imate za ponuditi?
- Pa evo imamo jedan ženski mozak za 2000 eura i jedan muški za 200 eura
- Kako to da je ženski 2000 a muški 200 eura?
- Pa muški mozak je korišten ...
chuck norris je napravio snjegovica od kise...
Jedan mladi Cigo dođe u Zavod za zapošljavanje, priđe šalteru i kaže službenici: "Halo, ne želim više živjeti od pomoći, nego želim ići raditi!"
Službenica ga pogleda i kaže: "Imate nevjerojatnu sreću. Imamo ponudu jednog bogatog gospodina, koji traži šofera i bodyguarda za svoju prelijepu kći nimfomanku. Morate voziti ogroman crni mercedes i dva puta na dan poševiti djevojku. Na raspolaganju su vam odijela, kravate i odjeća za slobodno vrijeme... Kako ćete raditi puno prekovremenih, biti će vam i isplaćeni. Kako mlada dama puno putuje, morati ćete je pratiti na tim putovanjima. Osnovna plaća iznosi 100000 eura godišnje".
Na to će Cigo: "Jel' vi to mene zajebavate!?"
A službenica će: "A tko je prvi počeo?"
Imao čovijek rak na mozgu i dođe on kod doktora
- Ako vam ne napravimo transplantaciju mozga, umrijet ćete za tri tjedna
- Dobro, što mi imate za ponuditi?
- Pa evo imamo jedan ženski mozak za 2000 eura i jedan muški za 200 eura
- Kako to da je ženski 2000 a muški 200 eura?
- Pa muški mozak je korišten ...
"Good night boils and ghouls."
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A$H
- Posts: 19055
- Joined: 10 Oct 2006, 11:23
- Location: Clubhouse
Re: ...Vicevi...
uvijek ubojitiMetalcamp wrote:Chuck Norris se ukazao Gospi...
chuck norris je napravio snjegovica od kise...
It's A Bird... It's A Plane... It's SUPERA$H!!
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john_constantine
- Posts: 27523
- Joined: 06 Oct 2006, 17:25
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Wendigo
- Posts: 14771
- Joined: 08 Nov 2006, 17:10
- Location: Dublin, Ireland
Re: ...Vicevi...
lol, kaj još nisi skužio da asfodel tako tepa?john_constantine wrote:mačak? Nije li to zapravo pas?Asfodel wrote:Paaametni mačak
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Asfodel
- Posts: 15492
- Joined: 08 Dec 2007, 21:37
- Location: Chopping Mall
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Re: ...Vicevi...
What Your Facebook Status Really Means
I've had enough of the drama!
No you have not. You love drama. You hate that Gossip Girl isn't a reality show.
The gym kicked my ass!
You recently started working out and want everyone to know. If you worked out more, you'd know that working out produces a greater natural high than facebook comments.
"Quote from a famous person." -Famous Person
It's possible you heard something interesting and wanted to share. More than likely you couldn't think of anything to say, but wanted people to know you still exist.
Back on the market!
You recently broke up with a significant other, and are masking your feelings of loneliness by desperately trying to get attention. Especially if it's in front of your ex. By the way, we all know that dude with you in your facebook picture is actually your cousin.
Ugh!
Something insignificant is wrong. Maybe the person you like (but know is a douchebag) is acting like a douchebag. Or maybe you're an overachiever and someone else in your honors class turned in a paper that was half a page longer than yours. Either way, you know deep down that none of this will matter in a year, but you still want sympathy.
I love my friends! You guys are SOOOOO awesome! Thanks for the birthday wishes!!!!!
You value people who pretend they are friends with you. If it were not for facebook's birthday reminders, you'd have gotten three happy birthdays and they would have all been from your grandmother.
I can't wait for the summer to be over! I miss everyone!
The summer has become a scary reminder of how bad high school was. With every passing day, you are reminded why you went away to school in the first place.
Whatever
You are pretending to be indifferent about something that clearly bothers you, or you wouldn't have addressed it. Indifference is denoted by silence, not cries for help.
Last night was off the chain! I'd tell you about it, but I'm too drunk to remember!
You're mildly clever. But if last night was truly off the chain, you'd be passed out or hung over, not updating your status at 9:00 AM.
I'm lonely!
This one is embarrassingly honest.
I love cock! I want to blow everyone!
Your account has been hacked. When you check your Facebook in the computer lab, log out.
zadnji je pre pre
I've had enough of the drama!
No you have not. You love drama. You hate that Gossip Girl isn't a reality show.
The gym kicked my ass!
You recently started working out and want everyone to know. If you worked out more, you'd know that working out produces a greater natural high than facebook comments.
"Quote from a famous person." -Famous Person
It's possible you heard something interesting and wanted to share. More than likely you couldn't think of anything to say, but wanted people to know you still exist.
Back on the market!
You recently broke up with a significant other, and are masking your feelings of loneliness by desperately trying to get attention. Especially if it's in front of your ex. By the way, we all know that dude with you in your facebook picture is actually your cousin.
Ugh!
Something insignificant is wrong. Maybe the person you like (but know is a douchebag) is acting like a douchebag. Or maybe you're an overachiever and someone else in your honors class turned in a paper that was half a page longer than yours. Either way, you know deep down that none of this will matter in a year, but you still want sympathy.
I love my friends! You guys are SOOOOO awesome! Thanks for the birthday wishes!!!!!
You value people who pretend they are friends with you. If it were not for facebook's birthday reminders, you'd have gotten three happy birthdays and they would have all been from your grandmother.
I can't wait for the summer to be over! I miss everyone!
The summer has become a scary reminder of how bad high school was. With every passing day, you are reminded why you went away to school in the first place.
Whatever
You are pretending to be indifferent about something that clearly bothers you, or you wouldn't have addressed it. Indifference is denoted by silence, not cries for help.
Last night was off the chain! I'd tell you about it, but I'm too drunk to remember!
You're mildly clever. But if last night was truly off the chain, you'd be passed out or hung over, not updating your status at 9:00 AM.
I'm lonely!
This one is embarrassingly honest.
I love cock! I want to blow everyone!
Your account has been hacked. When you check your Facebook in the computer lab, log out.
zadnji je pre preI mean, a few little tiny murders and everyone just freaks out
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elrania
- Posts: 23132
- Joined: 04 Feb 2007, 18:13
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boyko
- Posts: 9954
- Joined: 11 Mar 2009, 13:50
Re: ...Vicevi...
Decadentor wrote:
''Ne biste li radije da vas, kada umrete, pojedu vaši rođaci nego crvi?''
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Jandra
- Posts: 991
- Joined: 15 Mar 2009, 19:22
- Location: Na stolici
Re: ...Vicevi...
Od bakeAsfodel wrote:I love my friends! You guys are SOOOOO awesome! Thanks for the birthday wishes!!!!!
You value people who pretend they are friends with you. If it were not for facebook's birthday reminders, you'd have gotten three happy birthdays and they would have all been from your grandmother.
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elrania
- Posts: 23132
- Joined: 04 Feb 2007, 18:13
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A$H
- Posts: 19055
- Joined: 10 Oct 2006, 11:23
- Location: Clubhouse
Re: ...Vicevi...
hahahaAsfodel wrote:What Your Facebook Status Really Means
It's A Bird... It's A Plane... It's SUPERA$H!!
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Asfodel
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- Contact:
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elrania
- Posts: 23132
- Joined: 04 Feb 2007, 18:13
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Jandra
- Posts: 991
- Joined: 15 Mar 2009, 19:22
- Location: Na stolici
Re: ...Vicevi...
NDHelrania wrote: